Marrying at an early Age and Its Benefits
by Shaykh Fowzan
Taken from: Islaam's Solution For The Problems Facing Todays Youth, Pgs. 44-48
From among the benefits of getting married at an early age is the obtaining of children, which make the youth delighted at their presence.
Allah says:
And those who say: “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn ” (pious - see V.2:2 and the footnote of V.3:164).” (Al-Furqan 25:74)
Wives and children are a deligh; Allah prmised that marriage brings about pleasure. This pleasure encourages and persuades the youth to take an interest in matrimony.
This is also similar to how Allah mentioned that childred are a share of this world’s beauty.
Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds (five compulsory prayers, deeds of Allâh’s obedience, good and nice talk, remembrance of Allâh with glorification, praises and thanks, etc.), that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. (Al-Kahf 18:46)
Therefore, this world is adorned by children. The human-being seeks out adornment the same ways he tries to obtain wealth. Similarly, he craves for children, because they are equal to wealth in their existence. This is in this world. Then in the hereafter, righteous children can benefit their fathers as the Prophet sallalahu ‘alayhe wasallam said:
“Whenever the son of Adam dies his action stop except three: Knowledge that benefits people, a recurring charity, and a righteous child that supplicates for his parent .”
(Hadeeth Saheeh, Collected by Muslim #1631)
The second benefit of matrimony at an early age is that it produces children increasing the Muslim Ummah and Islaamic society. The Prophet sallalahu ‘alayhe wasallam said
“Marry the loving and fertile, for verily I want to have the largest Ummah on the Day of Resurrection.”
[Hadeeth Saheeh, Collected by Abu Dawud in his Sunnan (#2050), An-Nisa'i in his Sunnan As-Sughara (#3227), Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak (#2/162), and Ibn Hibban in his Saheeh (#4057), Al-Baghawee in his Sharh-us-Sunnah (#9/17), Al-Bayhaqee in his Sunnan AL-Kubara (#7/81) on the authority of Ma'qal Ibn Yasaar. Graded Saheeh by Al-Albani in his checking of Abu Dawud.]
Great blessing result from marriage. From among them are the ones we previously mentioned. So if these virtues and blessings are explained to the adolscents, then the fallacious problems that hinder people from getting married will disappear.
As for the saying that, getting married at an early age diverts from gaining knowledge and from studying, this is not the case. Rather, the opposite of this is correct because tranquility, peace of mind, and pleasure never cease to be obtained through marriage. These things help the student to reach his goal because, he has peace of mind, and his thoughts are not cluttered due to discomfort and this helps him study.
Now on the other hand abstaining from marriage in reality blocks whatever knowledge he wants to attain, because it is not possible to acquire knowledge in a state of confusion and anxiety. However, if he gets married, his mind is at rest and his soul is at ease. He gets a house to take as a shelter and a wife who relaxes and helps him. These things help him to attain knowledge.
If Allah makes it easy and this marraige becomes a source of comfot to become a relationship, then this is from among the things which make it easy for the student to pursue knowledge. Matrimony does not block the path to knowledge as some believe. For that reason, having children is an enormous blessing in this life and in the next.
As for the statement that marriage at an early age burdens the adolsecent to supply provisions for his children, wife and other responsibilities, this also is not correct. Along with marriage comes blessings and well-being. Matrimony is obedience to Allah and His Messenger sallalahu ‘alayhe wasallam and there is good in every act of obedience. So if the youth gets married following the orders of the Prophet sallalahu ‘alayhe wasallam by seeking the blessings that have been promised with the correct intentions, then this marriage will be a reason for his blessings. The provisions are in the hands of Allah.
Allah, the Mighty and Majestic states:
And no (moving) living creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allâh. (Hud 11:6)
Consequently, if Allah makes it easy for you to get married, then He will make providing for your children easy.
We provide sustenance for you and for them. (Al-An’am 6:151)
Marriage does not burden the young man above his ability as some of the people think. Marriage brings benefits and blessings. Matrimony is a necessary Sunnah of Allah for the human-being. Matrimony is not a horrible nightmare. It is only a door from the doors of righteousness for the person with the correct intention.
As for the excuses about the obstacles placed in the path of marriage, then this is from their evil behavior. Marriage in itself does not require such things as a plump dowry, parties which amount to more than required or other expenses with no authority from Allah. Rather, what is required is a wedding with ease.
Hence, it is a duty to clarify to the people that these extravagances placed in the path to a wedding bring about evil consequences for their sons and daughters. These extravagances are not from their well-being. Therefore, it is a must to remedy these problems, so that matrimony can return to its ease and convenience.
We ask Allah the Glorious and Most High to grant us the safety of success, guidance and to rectify the condition of all of us. We ask Allah to rectify the Muslim youth and to return the Muslims to their rank and honor the same way Allah gave the Muslim honor before. We ask Allah to return this honor and to rectify the Muslims state.
Allah says the Most High:
But honour, power and glory belong to Allâh, His Messenger (Muhammad Sallalahu ‘Alayhe Wasallam), and to the believers, but the hypocrites know not. (Al-Munafiqun 63:8)
We ask Allah to give the Muslims insight in their religion and to protect them from the evil of their enemies. Peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and all his companions. Praise be to Allah.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
inspiring tale 2
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind. She hated everyone, except her loving fiance. He is always there for her. Blind girl said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her fiance.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to the blind girl and then she can see everything, including her fiance.
Her fiance asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her fiance is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her fiance walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to girl saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear."
Moral: This is how human brain changes when the status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Never take someone for granted, Hold every person close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. Remember this always in life!
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to the blind girl and then she can see everything, including her fiance.
Her fiance asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her fiance is blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her fiance walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to girl saying. "Just take care of my eyes dear."
Moral: This is how human brain changes when the status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Never take someone for granted, Hold every person close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. Remember this always in life!
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Inspiring tale 1
One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.
A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect.
There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.
The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly ... but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in ... but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges.
In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people starred ... how could he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine ... mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking ... but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love ..... I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them ... and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart ... but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away ... and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges ... giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too ... and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.
It fit .... but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.
The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side.
A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect.
There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen.
The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly ... but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in ... but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges.
In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.
The people starred ... how could he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine ... mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking ... but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love ..... I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them ... and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart ... but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away ... and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges ... giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too ... and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.
It fit .... but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.
The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side.
MashaAllah
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he had told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.
It had been a year since Safiya, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Safiya now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her.
"How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted, she knew the painful truth her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Safiya's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Meraj.
Meraj was an Air Force officer and he loved Safiya with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Meraj's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face.
Finally, Safiya felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Meraj volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Safiya and fulfilled Meraj's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Meraj realized that this arrangement was not working - it was hectic, and costly. Safiya is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Meraj predicted, Safiya was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I am blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you are abandoning me."
Meraj's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. Meraj promised Safiya that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Meraj, military uniform and all, accompanied Safiya to and from work each day. Meraj taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment.
Meraj helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her and save her a seat. Meraj made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together and Meraj would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Meraj knew it was only a matter of time before Safiya would be able to ride the bus on her own. Meraj believed in her, in the Safiya he used to know before she would lost her sight, who was not afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Safiya decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Meraj, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. Safiya said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly and Safiya had never felt better. Safiya was doing it! She was going to work all by herself!
On Friday morning, Safiya took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Sister, I sure envy you."
Safiya was not sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are."
Safiya had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky woman."
Tears of happiness poured down Safiya's cheeks. For although she could not physically see him, she had always felt Meraj's presence. Safiya was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she did not need to see to believe - Gift of Love that can bring light where there had been darkness
It had been a year since Safiya, thirty-four, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. Once a fiercely independent woman, Safiya now felt condemned by this terrible twist of fate to become a powerless, helpless burden on everyone around her.
"How could this have happened to me?" she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted, she knew the painful truth her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Safiya's once optimistic spirit. Just getting through each day was an exercise in frustration and exhaustion. And all she had to cling to was her husband Meraj.
Meraj was an Air Force officer and he loved Safiya with all of his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Meraj's military background had trained him well to deal with sensitive situations, and yet he knew this was the most difficult battle he would ever face.
Finally, Safiya felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Meraj volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.
At first, this comforted Safiya and fulfilled Meraj's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Meraj realized that this arrangement was not working - it was hectic, and costly. Safiya is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?
Just as Meraj predicted, Safiya was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I am blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you are abandoning me."
Meraj's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. Meraj promised Safiya that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Meraj, military uniform and all, accompanied Safiya to and from work each day. Meraj taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment.
Meraj helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her and save her a seat. Meraj made her laugh, even on those not-so-good days when she would trip exiting the bus or drop her briefcase. Each morning they made the journey together and Meraj would take a cab back to his office. Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Meraj knew it was only a matter of time before Safiya would be able to ride the bus on her own. Meraj believed in her, in the Safiya he used to know before she would lost her sight, who was not afraid of any challenge and who would never, ever quit.
Finally, Safiya decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Meraj, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. Safiya said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly and Safiya had never felt better. Safiya was doing it! She was going to work all by herself!
On Friday morning, Safiya took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Sister, I sure envy you."
Safiya was not sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"
The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are."
Safiya had no idea what the driver was talking about, and asked again, "What do you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky woman."
Tears of happiness poured down Safiya's cheeks. For although she could not physically see him, she had always felt Meraj's presence. Safiya was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she did not need to see to believe - Gift of Love that can bring light where there had been darkness
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