Abdullah was an energetic person but lacking in certain skills. One day, he left his home to pray Dhuhr in the mosque. It was his zeal for the prayer and respect for his religion which brought him out to pray. He was walking fast in order to reach the mosque before the Iqamah was given. On his way, he passed by a date-palm tree on top of which there was a man in uniform, working on the tree. Abdullah became surprised and thought, “Who is this man that does not care about the prayer! It is as if he didn’even hear the Adhan, or doesn’t care about the Iqamah, which is about to go!”
He shouted in anger, “Get down and pray!”
The man responded coldly, “OK, OK…”
He said, again, “Hurry up and pray, you donkey!”
The man screamed, “You called me a donkey?!” He then took a branch of the tree and descended in order to hit him over the head with it! Abdullah hid his face with his headscarf so the man wouldn’t recognize him and went on to the mosque. The man descended from the tree in anger, went to his house, prayed and rested for a while. He then returned to the tree to finish his job.
Intentions behind giving advice:
Many times when Allah has blessed us with knowledge and wisdom in certain areas we begin to see errors in our brothers and sisters. We know that it is an integral part of our religion to promote the good and forbid evil, but it is important for us to purify our intentions before we do so.
Remember, when advising our fellow Muslim brother or sister we are doing it to benefit them and not to satisfy our ego. We do it because we don’t want to see them go down the wrong path. The Prophet Muhammad (S) said: None of you truly believe until you want for your brother what you want for yourself [Bukhari and Muslim]. And until we don’t adopt this attitude we won’t be able to have any impact on the people we seek to help.
How to give advice:
The Prophet Muhammad (S) once said: When any one of you sees anything that is disapproved (of by Allah), let him change it with his hand. If he is not able to do so, then let him change it with his tongue. And if he is not able to do so, then let him change it with his heart, though that is the weakest (kind of) faith [Muslim].
Now how should one give advice?
1) Take the person to a corner or somewhere private.
2) Tell them how what they are doing is harmful to their hereafter and how it is hurting others.
3) Make dua for them and tell them that you are there to help them correct their error.
The next time you find your friends doing drugs, watching pornography, dating, do it with these two things in mind. You are correcting them so they can better themselves and that you have to be subtle and do it with wisdom. so you don’t push them away from the straight path any further[Ig1] .
Asr time came and Abdullah went to the mosque again. On his way he passed by the same tree and noticed the same man working. He decided to change his method altogether and said, “Assalamualaikum! How are you?”
The man replied, “Alhumdulillah, I am fine!”
Abdullah asked, “Give me some good news. How are the dates this year?”
The man said, “Alhumdulillah.”
Abdullah said, “May Allah give you success and provision, make your life easy for you, and not deprive you of the reward for your work!”
The man was overjoyed at hearing this supplication and said ameen to the prayer.
Abdullah then said, “It seems that you are so preoccupied with work that perhaps you didn’t notice that Adhan for Asr prayer. The Adhan has been called and the Iqamah is about to be given. Perhaps you should get down, relax a little and get ready for prayer. After the prayer you can get on with your work again. May Allah keep you healthy.”
The man said, “InshaAllah… InshaAllah…” and began to descend gently.
He then turned to Abdullah, shook his hand warmly and said, “I would like to thank you for your excellent manners. As for the one who passed by me at Dhuhr time, I wish I could see him and show him who the real donkey is
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